Goatee, Go Figure

Here's an interesting little tidbit, my ex-husband has grown a goatee. I realize that those of you reading this have no idea who my ex-husband is, or why this information would qualify as an "interesting tidbit," but trust, I will explain. My ex-husband is a real type-A, militant, always leaves the party early kind of guy. He wears loafers, he uses shoe horns, and takes great pleasure in cleaning off his Mac. These were all qualities I loved about him, by the way, this is not by any means a jab at his character. We were together for five years and the man shaved every single morning without fail. It was nothing that I pressured him to do, he was clean-shaven when I met him. When I heard about this radical decision to grow a goatee, I was shocked, and then instantly intrigued. What is the correlation between break-ups and hair? I've known plenty of women who resort to the same sort of behavior when a relationship suddenly goes sour; a la Rhianna after Chris Brown, Brittany Spears after K-Fed. I've just never entertained the idea of a man doing the same thing.
Does it have something to do with control? The freedom to make one's own decisions? The most that I've ever done when coping with a break-up is eat a pint of Haagen Dazs, and rip up a few old pictures. I've never taken it out on my hair. I can go to the gym and work off that pint of ice cream, but a bad haircut could haunt me for life. I must admit, I've seen a current picture of him, and he looks completely different. I hardly recognized him. Maybe that's what he's going for, or is this some sort of signaling of manhood. He looks older, but, well, I won't go there. I've always been kind of attracted to men with goatees. I used to think that they were so much more sophisticated, and suave than men without them. There is something very ooh, la, la about it, or maybe that's just a fantasy I created to keep myself interested, and disguise the fact that usually goateed men are slick talking, players without a conscience. They always seem to have a chip on their shoulder. Now I wonder if the reason those men grew goatees had anything to do with a divorce or a bad break-up. That would also explain why most men with goatees always seem to be a little moody, and quick tempered. Most of the one's I've dated had some serious committment issues, and they're always the men at the club buying out the bar. I'll stop short of a warning ladies, but you see where this is going.