Satisfaction

It's not too often that I get what I want, exactly the way that I want it. So when it does actually happen, it's worth documenting. This past Saturday night was especially rough for me. I've been communicating with my ex again, and it's proving two things one, to be agonizingly difficult, and two, if there was ever a doubt before, divorce is definitely the answer (for us anyway). I can't even remember what time I went to bed, but the first thing on my mind when I woke up Sunday morning was blueberry pancakes. I think I dreamt them up the night before. It's funny the things that pop into your mind after a rough night. Usually, I'm more of a french toast kinda girl, but blueberry pancakes were my heart's desire this particular, windy, rainy, New York City, Sunday morning. They were calling my name so persistently that I pulled myself up way earlier than I should have been awake, dressed, and tipped out of the apartment in search of sanity and satisfaction. I find myself getting lost in the sounds and the somberness of the city. It was just me, my ipod, and gray drizzly rain as I made my way up 60th St. to Eat Here Now.

As I took off my coat in the diner, and heard the clinging of silverware, and the chatter of thick New York accents, the smell of coffee, whatever mood I was in shifted. All that mattered was the goings-on in this place and time. I take comfort in the noise, it's a welcome distraction. I settle into my chair, and with a deep breath I exhale my worrisome thoughts. I catch snippets of the dialogue being exchanged around me. Even the way a little girl likes her eggs is more interesting to me than whatever i have going on right now. The waitress takes my order and within about ten minutes there was a perfect, porcelain, plate of fluffy, perfectly colored, blueberry pancakes, accented by two fat, cute little sausage links. I took my time buttering and syruping them. In this time and this place, they were the most precious things to me. My sanity depended on this staggered stack of carbs speckled with tiny blackish blue berries. The first bite was nothing short of sweet satisfaction, and every bite thereafter confirmed the perfection of the bite before. I guess sometimes dreams do come true.