Goldilocks

I've been sleeping around so much since my husband and I separated (gotcha! please refer to fact #6 in Ex Marks the Spot , just a little play on words). I've decided to dedicate this entire post to all of the different "beds" I've slept in ALONE. I use the word bed very loosely, meaning the place where a lay my head, not an actual bed. I don't own one of those anymore.

So here goes, my first bed is the couch at my parent's house. It is at least seven years old, moss green, and made of a tweedy, itchy fabric (sorry mom). This has to be the most uncomfortable place to sleep. If I really think about it, it's utterly disgusting to sleep on anyone's couch family or not. This is a place where people place their butts, sometimes for hours and hours on end.

Next on the list, the make-shift "bed" at my brother's apartment. This "bed" was actually not too uncomfortable. It is essentially a leather sectional sofa, with pieces that can be pushed together to form one large square. I refer to this one as my "king sized bed." It was hard as a rock, but I did have plenty of space, and lots of comfy blankets. The best thing about this bed was the location. I actually had my own room, complete with closets and a full length mirror (what else does a girl need). The bedroom was positioned right on the front of his apartment, so it was as cold as a meat locker, hence the reason for so many blankets, but it was my room while I was there.

The best bed, was actually a bed. A nice queen sized bed at the Westin Hotel, complete with lots of pillows and sheets with a decent thread count.

Hands down the absolute worst of all of my "beds" is the one I'm sleeping on right now. The Aero Bed. Who the hell invented this? Every morning when I wake up and slide off the side of this mockery of a mattress, I am so tempted to write Mr. Aero and inform him of how much this bed really sucks! I feel like I have to perform a balancing act in my sleep. I'm constantly in fear of rolling off and breaking my neck since this thing sits so high up off of the floor. The plastic stench is enough to make me want to choke myself, and the first night I slept on it I had a horrible nightmare about a blow-up doll. Goldilocks has nothing on me.

Sincere Lee