We all know this guy. The "really good guy" he doesn't quite have it all together. You're not completely sure about how you feel about him because generally there is something that he does and/or says that grates on your nerves. He's usually between jobs, and still lives at home with his parents. BUT he has a great personality, he's educated, or at least working on it, and he makes you laugh. This, my friends, is the "man with potential." In theory it's always a good idea to keep him in your back pocket, ya know, for those hard times. However, this is not the man that you seriously want to date, if you do, proceed with caution. I've dated at least a handful of them, we all have. In fact, I married him, and look how that turned out.
This is the problem with men with potential. A woman can spend years and years of her life with a man who has potential and he may never live up to it. Next to shaving off all of your hair for any reason other than cancer, this is the riskiest thing a twenty-something woman can ever do. Eventually, we (i'm speaking for all women, the nerve of me) will get sick and tired of trying to motivate him, console him, support him, not only financially, but emotionally. He, in turn, will undoubtedly feel the pressure, and will also get sick and tired of everyone challenging him to do something with his life, or change. For the life of me I can't figure out why men are so resistant to change, but I digress.
It's a strained relationship from the start that will never flourish into anything because neither party will have enough patience, or stamina to keep it going. Perhaps the most depressing thing about dating the "man with potential" is that inevitably, one day, he will get it together, a year, or two, or ten, after the two of you break up, and some other woman will reap all the benefits that we worked so hard for. Now there is one exception to the rule according to Sincere Lee, and that is if you happen to fall head over heels in love with "the man with potential" hang in there, more than likely, it'll be worth it in the end.
Sincere Lee
** This post was inspired by the Single Black Man in NoVA's "My Two Cents" post, check my blog bling.
Feral City
1 year ago
Good post.
ReplyDeleteI think the thing I wished you would have talked more about is the benefit and not the negative.
** And thanks for the shout out
Thanks Shawn!
ReplyDeleteI haven't personally experienced the benefits of staying with the "man with potential" so I can't really speak on it. But I do believe that it can work, if two people are in love. I'm still a cheerleader for him, but from a distance.
This was a really good post.
ReplyDeleteI think the older I get, the less I want to date someone that I would consider a "fixer upper" (I think a "man with potential" sounds so much nicer!). I've dated a few guys like this in the past. Eventually I would end up feeling guilty because I would want to change or improve them. I wouldn't want someone to try and change me. So, if I ever found myself single again I think I would look for someone who was on the same page as me, someone I liked just the way they already are. Life is short..I like my men "ready to go" :)
You are right on! Hilarious. Sigh . . .
ReplyDelete