Mine

I've never been a selfish person. I was the girl at the lunch table in second grade who would pass out each item in her lunchbox to all of the other kids. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that I have something to share, which is essentially, something to give, and actually presenting someone with it. Lately, however, I have been thinking about what is mine. I have this urgent need to claim something, anything that has been a part of my life in any way. So often I feel like I am grasping at thin air. I used to feel like I had a grip on my life, and the life I envisioned for myself. I shared that life with another person. Now that I have done that, it so hard for me to distinguish between the things that belong solely to me, and the things that are part of a past existence. What is worth holding on to? What should I let go? My life in New York City was so much a part of me, and I'm having to let it go. I feel like I'm giving up my future for the past. It's not completely impossible for me to envision a future here in Virginia. I just always thought a future should feel fresh, and new, unchartered territory; but I've definitely been here before. I can certainly own that.